Getting to Know You

I'm a Narwhal that enjoys feasting on the flesh of children at heart. Multi-fandom but I love everything, yo. Star Trek The Next Generation and Lemony Snicket are two amazing nouns. Been going steady with Mr. Peabody for 4 years, and I write fan fiction (not of him, mind you). This is getting long, so find me on instagram under the same username, and please, if you have something to say, say it.

"You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears… and you kill him. How are you going to live with yourself?"

Reblogged from aphchinos

Mr. Krabs (via chosen-undead)

Reblogged from communistbakery

squigglydigg:

dog out of water.  solution: eat other dog

four dogs, one cup

(Source: 6woofs)

uno-flatu:

If only every concept was explained with a Disney reference, I’d be doing even better in law school.

Reblogged from mintleaftea

uno-flatu:

If only every concept was explained with a Disney reference, I’d be doing even better in law school.

theamazingindi:

diacrit:

"If you buy your girlfriend flowers, they will wilt. If you but your girlfriend a phone, it will break. Buy your girlfriend a wrench. Nothing will happen to a wrench."

this is painfully russian

Reblogged from gilbert-sprussianprincess

theamazingindi:

diacrit:

"If you buy your girlfriend flowers, they will wilt. If you but your girlfriend a phone, it will break. Buy your girlfriend a wrench. Nothing will happen to a wrench."

this is painfully russian

Reblogged from mintleaftea

mrsnelsonstorm:

reblog if u give a fuck about an oxford comma

Reblogged from gilbert-sprussianprincess

i-love-my-fandoms:

koizumisato:

pornithologist:

what this made me realise is that helen’s certainty implies that dash and violet were both showing signs of their powers as infants and that is the funniest thing i have ever thought of in my life because one has super speed and one turns invisible can you picture first-time parents trying to deal with a baby that sometimes fucking disappears

   

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

Reblogged from bookoisseur

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(Source: media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com)

Reblogged from gilbert-sprussianprincess

furballthefurry:

jigglypinkbutts:

raynoreqearthplayer:

wuts the joke here?

Sylveon evolves with affection, but Umbreon evolves with friendship. After having sex the Umbreon realized she only liked the Sylveon as a friend, which is disappointing for the Sylveon, because he feels much more strongly than her.

The joke is heartbreak.

this is the best thing. ever.

Reblogged from phoenix-dogs

monicalewinsky1996:

Trigger warning: Breakfast by Anonymous

Reblogged from gilbert-sprussianprincess

snailwitch:

"clean up clean up everybody do your share" what the FUCK is this communist propaganda